Friday, June 1, 2012

Women of the Camps - Introduction



I am no longer an idealist, I left that mentality somewhere in my early to mid 20s.  Around the same period where you begin to come to terms with the fact that you don't really know shit and realize your parents were right.  During my idealist phase I wanted to save the world, though not sure how to do so. Maybe work for the United Nations or become a top politician responsible for creating and implementing legislation in line with my values.  Ha! I'm sure we all know at this point in our lives that saving the world cannot be done through these means.  

So I have evolved into a cynic, also known as a realist.  The world can be a wonderful, beautiful place and at the same time cruel and tragic, filled with frustration and utter disbelief.  Some days it is a struggle to find the balance between beauty and tragedy, making it virtually impossible to be anything other than angry or numb.  But it is possible, you just have to look for it.  Or as the ever wise Alice Walker says,

“I have fought and kicked and fasted and prayed and cursed and cried myself to the point of existing.” 

And have I ever fought, kicked, fasted, prayed, cursed, and cried.  Sometimes that is necessary.  You can't keep all those frustrations and bad emotions inside, they will eventually poison you.

There are times, often when I am feeling the most frustrated and angry, that I am reminded of my privilege and my blessings.  I am also reminded of my duty, as someone who staunchly advocates for justice in the world, to my fellow people (and to the earth animals in some cases too).

And so on my latest journey, one I have been diligently preparing for, for over a year now, I came face to face with my 20 something year old self again in pursuit of completing my final "project" for my Masters degree.  

Palestinians have been displaced and under occupation for over 60 years now and Jordan hosts many of the refugees (some 350,000 in the camps) and at least half the population is of Palestinian decent.  Needless to say, there are more important details to mention about the relationship between Jordan and the Palestinians, but this will do for now.

As an avid reader and observer on the subject, I know the Palestinian people are beyond resilient, they are all that embodies resistance.  The simple act of surviving is a form of resistance, of carrying on the history (orally because much of the official documentation is lost or was destroyed ), thriving, celebrating, procreating, all of these things are acts of resistance.

I visited two camps, more specifically the women's program centers in the camps, just outside of Amman in Jerash and Marka.  I don't mean to be sexist here, but in my humble opinion, during times of duress, displacement, war, crisis, women tend to be the glue that holds the community together.  And this is certainly the case at Jerash and Marka camps. 

(I will elaborate more on each camp in other posts.)  

Needless to say, when talking to these women and listening to their frustration and concerns, my old self (that 20 something one) crept back into my consciousness and wanted to scream, "I can help you!" We can change this!"   Of course, my now 30 year old self had to reason with my younger half, "calm it down girl, that is not why you are here."  I think the "hows" and "whys" are the most challenging questions in any situation.  Why can't we reconcile the Palestinian/Israeli crisis? (well I know some of the answer to this but it is still beyond complex) How can we allow these people to remain in a constant state of uncertainty and how can we continue to allow them to suffer?  Again, I am reminded of one of my favorite poets, Rilke, who says:
   
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” 

My purpose, my duty is not to solve the problems of the Palestinian women refugees in the camps of Jordan, nor to solve any other problem, issue, crisis that does not directly involve me.  My duty is to be a bridge, linking people with people, facilitating the sharing of stories and playing the messenger - not speaking for them, just ensuring their message is distributed to a wider audience.  This is hard because there is little to no tangible "world saving" happening with the bridge method.  But through bridging people and cultures, we get to know more about the suffering of others, about the daily challenges they face, and about the empowerment and resistance taking place worlds away, and sometimes in our own neighborhoods.

Riding in on my Western horse crying "I know how to save you" is ignorant and disempowering.  I know this now and I think we all need to come to this conclusion on our own, in our own time and place.  So in the next couple of blogs I will document my brief encounters with these amazing women and attempt to shed some light on what the reality is for them.    

Salam,
A
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Handala - Resistance in Cartoons
Naji Al Ali and Handala

Al Ali writes: “The child Handala is my signature, everyone asks me about him wherever I go. I gave birth to this child in the Gulf and I presented him to the people. His name is Handala and he has promised the people that he will remain true to himself. I drew him as a child who is not beautiful; his hair is like the hair of a hedgehog who uses his thorns as a weapon. Handala is not a fat, happy, relaxed, or pampered child. He is barefooted like the refugee camp children, and he is an icon that protects me from making mistakes. Even though he is rough, he smells of amber. His hands are clasped behind his back as a sign of rejection at a time when solutions are presented to us the American way."
Handala was born ten years old, and he will always be ten years old. At that age, I left my homeland, and when he returns, Handala will still be ten, and then he will start growing up. The laws of nature do not apply to him. He is unique. Things will become normal again when the homeland returns.
I presented him to the poor and named him Handala as a symbol of bitterness. At first, he was a Palestinian child, but his consciousness developed to have a national and then a global and human horizon. He is a simple yet tough child, and this is why people adopted him and felt that he represents their consciousness."


*All the information from Handala was taken from Naji al Ali's website.  See the link above for more information and cartoons.


Monday, May 14, 2012

Top 10 List - ThingsYou Should Know About Jordan/Jordanian Culture

I am still recovering from my trip so this will be short and sweet.  Upon my recent trip to the States, I realized that people know little to nothing about this little Kingdom.  So here is a top 10 list (dedicated to DP, LB, and JH from HMH) that highlights some of the things I think you should know about Jordan.

10.) Going to and from Work is like Being in a Nintendo Mario Cart Game - That is, if Mario or Yoshi were honking the horn incessantly while smoking a cigarette, talking on the phone, and trying to cross three lanes in bumper to bumper traffic.
9.) Jordanians Can Party - More about this in my next blog.  Needless to say, they know how to have a good time!
8.) Mafi Oil - So mafi means none, or out of.  Unlike many of the neighboring countries, Jordan has no oil.  They also have no water, and little to no natural resources.
7.) Islam is not Scary - With rampant Islamaphobia in the West, and a large focus on the Islamic fundamentalists, it seems there is little to no knowledge about the average Muslim (though I think Lifetime tried to shed some light with a reality tv show that ended up being cancelled).  Islam is a very peaceful and beautiful religion and in no way scary.  Fundamentalists, on the other hand, are very scary.  But keep in mind, fundamentalists are present in every religion and are equally scary no matter which tradition they stem from :)
6.) It's All About the Family - Family is the nucleus of the society and great emphasis is put on caring for your family.  Children often live with their parents until they are married and the elderly are taken care of by the younger generations.  Don't even think about putting grandma in a home!  Jordan is also very tribal.  So it does matter who your daddy is, who your granddaddy is and where you come from.  Who you know can make or break business deals, or help you expedite government processes :)
5.) Borders - Nestled in the fertile crescent, Jordan borders the Occupied Palestinian Territories and Israel to the West, Saudi Arabia to the South, Syria to the North, and Iraq to the East.  In short, they are located in the midst of a shit-storm of conflict.  That being said, Jordan hosts a good portion of the refugees from these conflict ridden nations.  Half of the population (this is a controversial statistic) is of Palestinian origin.  During the Iraq war, Jordan hosted 1 million Iraqi "guests" and now, over 100,000 Syrians because of the mess in that country.  For a little country of 6.5 million, this puts tremendous strain on already scarce resources and further complicates the political environment of the region.  But hey, someone has to take care of these people.
4.) Long Live the King - The official name of Jordan is the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, which means it is ruled by the King.  More specifically, His Majesty King Abdullah II.
3.) Amman is Safer than Chicago - My first weekend in Chicago, 41 people were shot.  Yes, in a weekend.  That would be unheard of here!  It is safe for Western women to walk around and go about daily business.  Besides, they love Americans!  Despite our shady foreign policies, Americans are respected and treated well here.
2.) Food is Delicious - And fresh!  I love the food here.  Some of the new fruits I have tried this spring include: green almonds, green cherries, and azkadenya.  I feel I am becoming more Jordanian in my eating habits, having labneh and bread with fruit for breakfast, falafel or shawerma for lunch, and some delicious dish a couple times a week for dinner courtesy of Umm Hazem.  Not to mention the olives, olive oil, and fresh citrus.  Superb.
1.) It's Complicated - Jordan is a very unique little country and the political, geographical, and sociological environments are complicated at best.  It is a country caught between tradition and modernity, not sure which direction to go next.  It is also a staunch ally of the United States and serves a very vital role in the region, particularly after the Arab Spring.  If you are interested, I can give you some resources to check out, or perhaps I can procure an expert on the region to explain things further, I know of at least one:)

So there you have it folks!  10 things you may or may not have known about Jordan.

Next blog -my latest wedding experience.  Opa! 

Monday, January 30, 2012

Back in the Blogosphere

It has been quite some time since I have blogged, months in fact, though I intended to post several times between then and now.  So much has happened that its hard to put the events of the last few months into a succinct series of thought.  But alas, I will try.

The holidays came and with them, lots of excitement.  I hosted a Thanksgiving gathering at my house, thankfully my friend Meghan did most of the cooking.  All went well, everyone ate too much, some drank too much, and I can safely say all guests left with full bellies and a good experience.

Then my friends left me.  Ha!  No really, they did though.  Well not all of them, but 3 whom I had grown quite close with, including my room mate.  Unfortunately, living the life of an expat in Jordan means a constant arrival and departure of people and friends.  Most stay for only a few months, working on language or doing and internship with any one of the international organizations here.  But Jordan seems to be a transit hub for most.  Apparently I might be one of the exceptions.

My original plan was to come here, do my research, learn Arabic, and get some cross-cultural work experience.  The one thing about life I have learned in my, now 30, years is that planning is a really ridiculous exercise because inevitably those plans will change.  Sometimes within your control, sometimes out of your control.  There is no use banging your head against a wall because life doesn't work out the way you originally planned.  That being said, I was offered a full time position with the company I have been "interning" with.  Ironically, this company is owned and managed by my adopted Jordanian family.....makes things a little more interesting.

So I accepted and will be extending my stay here.  Some days I think this is the best opportunity of my life.  Other days I look in the mirror and shake my head, but that is the way of things.  No situation is perfect and this is truly a unique opportunity.  Apparently today I am excited about it....ask me tomorrow :)

December came and the weather turned cold.  Not Chicago cold, but bone-chilling desert cold.  Regardless of the weather, to say that December was a rough month is an understatement.  Forget that I may have been battling a serious case of homesickness....and rightfully so!  But more importantly, the dear patriarch (Abu Hazem) of my adopted Jordanian family was hospitalized mid December and passed to the next world on 28th of December.

I remember asking my father, after the funeral of my cousin, if you ever get used to death.  Of course I was quite young and my father, who had experienced more than his fair share of loss at a young age, replied, no.  Death is devastating, no matter what the age or relationship.  And it isn't something you can prepare yourself for, despite the circumstances.  Abu Hazem had been sick for a while, but was incredibly resilient, surprising even the doctors with his strength.  But we are all human, which means at some point, our bodies will fail-this is both the beauty and the tragedy of life.

Abu Hazem and I had a unique relationship.  He was in the mid stages of Alzheimer's when I met him just 6 months ago, but we bonded in a way.  There wasn't much talking involved, most of our conversation was through body language, facial expressions, and eye contact.  It is truly amazing how much you can communicate without using words.  Through the Alzheimer's and various other medical issues he maintained an amazing sense of humor, constant smile, and light in his eyes.  I will remember him for his witty remarks, love of 7Up and appreciation of his wife's cooking - which is pretty amazing I must admit.

I know my adopted Jordanian family misses him more than words can describe, though I am happy to see they are finding strength in his memory and through each other.  Alice Walker once said, “To acknowledge our ancestors means we are aware that we did not make ourselves, that the line stretches all the way back, perhaps to God; or to Gods. We remember them because it is an easy thing to forget: that we are not the first to suffer, rebel, fight, love and die. The grace with which we embrace life, in spite of the pain, the sorrow, is always a measure of what has gone before. ”   The family of Abu Hazem has truly been graceful and unrelenting in their love and support of one another, led by the beautifully devoted and wise matriarch, Umm Hazem.  The healing will take time, minute by minute, day by day.......


So that was December....oh and Christmas fell somewhere between there, New Years too but I had the Jordanian flu (which is way different than the American flu if you are wondering) for like 3 weeks, so there was no New Year festivities for me.


And then.....and then, I had a birthday.  And I turned 30.  So weird to write that.  I am not usually all that concerned about age because I still pass for 18.  No really I do.  But 30 i s one of those milestones where you are required to re-examine your life and your goals and everything.  I started to do this, over analyze my life and goals and had a minor panic attack.  So I decided to stop.  Afterall, 30 is the new 20 right?  And that is that.


So much for an abridged version of my life for the last 3 months.  Blogs are supposed to be short, huh?  The next post will be much shorter, I promise.


So Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to one and all!