It has been quite some time since I have blogged, months in fact, though I intended to post several times between then and now. So much has happened that its hard to put the events of the last few months into a succinct series of thought. But alas, I will try.
The holidays came and with them, lots of excitement. I hosted a Thanksgiving gathering at my house, thankfully my friend Meghan did most of the cooking. All went well, everyone ate too much, some drank too much, and I can safely say all guests left with full bellies and a good experience.
Then my friends left me. Ha! No really, they did though. Well not all of them, but 3 whom I had grown quite close with, including my room mate. Unfortunately, living the life of an expat in Jordan means a constant arrival and departure of people and friends. Most stay for only a few months, working on language or doing and internship with any one of the international organizations here. But Jordan seems to be a transit hub for most. Apparently I might be one of the exceptions.
My original plan was to come here, do my research, learn Arabic, and get some cross-cultural work experience. The one thing about life I have learned in my, now 30, years is that planning is a really ridiculous exercise because inevitably those plans will change. Sometimes within your control, sometimes out of your control. There is no use banging your head against a wall because life doesn't work out the way you originally planned. That being said, I was offered a full time position with the company I have been "interning" with. Ironically, this company is owned and managed by my adopted Jordanian family.....makes things a little more interesting.
So I accepted and will be extending my stay here. Some days I think this is the best opportunity of my life. Other days I look in the mirror and shake my head, but that is the way of things. No situation is perfect and this is truly a unique opportunity. Apparently today I am excited about it....ask me tomorrow :)
December came and the weather turned cold. Not Chicago cold, but bone-chilling desert cold. Regardless of the weather, to say that December was a rough month is an understatement. Forget that I may have been battling a serious case of homesickness....and rightfully so! But more importantly, the dear patriarch (Abu Hazem) of my adopted Jordanian family was hospitalized mid December and passed to the next world on 28th of December.
I remember asking my father, after the funeral of my cousin, if you ever get used to death. Of course I was quite young and my father, who had experienced more than his fair share of loss at a young age, replied, no. Death is devastating, no matter what the age or relationship. And it isn't something you can prepare yourself for, despite the circumstances. Abu Hazem had been sick for a while, but was incredibly resilient, surprising even the doctors with his strength. But we are all human, which means at some point, our bodies will fail-this is both the beauty and the tragedy of life.
Abu Hazem and I had a unique relationship. He was in the mid stages of Alzheimer's when I met him just 6 months ago, but we bonded in a way. There wasn't much talking involved, most of our conversation was through body language, facial expressions, and eye contact. It is truly amazing how much you can communicate without using words. Through the Alzheimer's and various other medical issues he maintained an amazing sense of humor, constant smile, and light in his eyes. I will remember him for his witty remarks, love of 7Up and appreciation of his wife's cooking - which is pretty amazing I must admit.
I know my adopted Jordanian family misses him more than words can describe, though I am happy to see they are finding strength in his memory and through each other. Alice Walker once said, “To acknowledge our ancestors means we are aware that we did not make ourselves, that the line stretches all the way back, perhaps to God; or to Gods. We remember them because it is an easy thing to forget: that we are not the first to suffer, rebel, fight, love and die. The grace with which we embrace life, in spite of the pain, the sorrow, is always a measure of what has gone before. ” The family of Abu Hazem has truly been graceful and unrelenting in their love and support of one another, led by the beautifully devoted and wise matriarch, Umm Hazem. The healing will take time, minute by minute, day by day.......
So that was December....oh and Christmas fell somewhere between there, New Years too but I had the Jordanian flu (which is way different than the American flu if you are wondering) for like 3 weeks, so there was no New Year festivities for me.
And then.....and then, I had a birthday. And I turned 30. So weird to write that. I am not usually all that concerned about age because I still pass for 18. No really I do. But 30 i s one of those milestones where you are required to re-examine your life and your goals and everything. I started to do this, over analyze my life and goals and had a minor panic attack. So I decided to stop. Afterall, 30 is the new 20 right? And that is that.
So much for an abridged version of my life for the last 3 months. Blogs are supposed to be short, huh? The next post will be much shorter, I promise.
So Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to one and all!
The holidays came and with them, lots of excitement. I hosted a Thanksgiving gathering at my house, thankfully my friend Meghan did most of the cooking. All went well, everyone ate too much, some drank too much, and I can safely say all guests left with full bellies and a good experience.
Then my friends left me. Ha! No really, they did though. Well not all of them, but 3 whom I had grown quite close with, including my room mate. Unfortunately, living the life of an expat in Jordan means a constant arrival and departure of people and friends. Most stay for only a few months, working on language or doing and internship with any one of the international organizations here. But Jordan seems to be a transit hub for most. Apparently I might be one of the exceptions.
My original plan was to come here, do my research, learn Arabic, and get some cross-cultural work experience. The one thing about life I have learned in my, now 30, years is that planning is a really ridiculous exercise because inevitably those plans will change. Sometimes within your control, sometimes out of your control. There is no use banging your head against a wall because life doesn't work out the way you originally planned. That being said, I was offered a full time position with the company I have been "interning" with. Ironically, this company is owned and managed by my adopted Jordanian family.....makes things a little more interesting.
So I accepted and will be extending my stay here. Some days I think this is the best opportunity of my life. Other days I look in the mirror and shake my head, but that is the way of things. No situation is perfect and this is truly a unique opportunity. Apparently today I am excited about it....ask me tomorrow :)
December came and the weather turned cold. Not Chicago cold, but bone-chilling desert cold. Regardless of the weather, to say that December was a rough month is an understatement. Forget that I may have been battling a serious case of homesickness....and rightfully so! But more importantly, the dear patriarch (Abu Hazem) of my adopted Jordanian family was hospitalized mid December and passed to the next world on 28th of December.
I remember asking my father, after the funeral of my cousin, if you ever get used to death. Of course I was quite young and my father, who had experienced more than his fair share of loss at a young age, replied, no. Death is devastating, no matter what the age or relationship. And it isn't something you can prepare yourself for, despite the circumstances. Abu Hazem had been sick for a while, but was incredibly resilient, surprising even the doctors with his strength. But we are all human, which means at some point, our bodies will fail-this is both the beauty and the tragedy of life.
Abu Hazem and I had a unique relationship. He was in the mid stages of Alzheimer's when I met him just 6 months ago, but we bonded in a way. There wasn't much talking involved, most of our conversation was through body language, facial expressions, and eye contact. It is truly amazing how much you can communicate without using words. Through the Alzheimer's and various other medical issues he maintained an amazing sense of humor, constant smile, and light in his eyes. I will remember him for his witty remarks, love of 7Up and appreciation of his wife's cooking - which is pretty amazing I must admit.
I know my adopted Jordanian family misses him more than words can describe, though I am happy to see they are finding strength in his memory and through each other. Alice Walker once said, “To acknowledge our ancestors means we are aware that we did not make ourselves, that the line stretches all the way back, perhaps to God; or to Gods. We remember them because it is an easy thing to forget: that we are not the first to suffer, rebel, fight, love and die. The grace with which we embrace life, in spite of the pain, the sorrow, is always a measure of what has gone before. ” The family of Abu Hazem has truly been graceful and unrelenting in their love and support of one another, led by the beautifully devoted and wise matriarch, Umm Hazem. The healing will take time, minute by minute, day by day.......
So that was December....oh and Christmas fell somewhere between there, New Years too but I had the Jordanian flu (which is way different than the American flu if you are wondering) for like 3 weeks, so there was no New Year festivities for me.
And then.....and then, I had a birthday. And I turned 30. So weird to write that. I am not usually all that concerned about age because I still pass for 18. No really I do. But 30 i s one of those milestones where you are required to re-examine your life and your goals and everything. I started to do this, over analyze my life and goals and had a minor panic attack. So I decided to stop. Afterall, 30 is the new 20 right? And that is that.
So much for an abridged version of my life for the last 3 months. Blogs are supposed to be short, huh? The next post will be much shorter, I promise.
So Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to one and all!
